I know I am not the only one who will confess watching the show “Jersey Shore”… Actually there are a few reality shows that I find myself watching that really make me wonder what subliminal drug they must add to those show that make me drawn to them. My favorite is “Keeping up with the Kardashians” and I was watching “The Real Housewives” (all of them), but that got me just a little too nauseated. Also my husband actually refused to be in the same room if I watched “The Real Housewives”

Anyway – last night I was watching one of the evening entertainment shows and someone was giving “the situation” a sculpted tan”. Now it was pretty interesting because the salon that was giving him the “sculpted tan” was a salon I had originally trained. The girl giving the tan was just wafting the spray tan gun in the air, willy nilly. She was just giving a really not effective spray tan. The whole point of a “sculpted tan” is that you lay down the basic tan to the specifications of the client, and then you use a darker color to shade the areas that are more cut. This spray tan technician looked like she was spraying on underarm deoderant on a warm day after taking a shower – a little here, a little there.

I guess that is typical marketing. You sell someone an idea. I think it is nice when you actually give someone the thing that they are paying for. Otherwise the whole thing becomes like the emperor’s new clothes. I actually have a deep cynicism about many beauty products for this very reason. One that really cracks me up is the Philosophy product called “Hope in a Jar”.  I mean, that is just too silly. I personally would take a vial of botox and some good sunscreen. “Hope” and a metrocard will get me on the subway but when it comes to beauty treatments give me something effective for my money. Just saying.

I guess it is an age old question why men are allowed to be considered as hot as ever as they age – and women are not generally looked upon in that light. As a mother that really sucks for me – and is not a very hopeful thing for my daughters to look forward to. I know it is all linked to pro-creation. The guy can go on having kids until he is eighty – and mother nature gave women a fertility expiration date. I guess in natures final humorous crack – men generally don’t live so long. Interesting.

But on to the task at hand. How is it possible to shift the paradigm of what is considered beautiful? How can we expand the subject so there is a place for women to be and feel beautiful as they age.

I remember, as a kid, when my parents would see a woman dressing what they considered “too” youthfully – they would mutter under their breath “Mutton dressed as lamb”….So that was a pretty clear message.

I also get kind of infuriated with all the magazines going crazy with “Age” issues – how to dress for your twenties, thirties, forties, and god forbid beyond…..yak, yak, yak. I cannot think of anything more nauseating than having some fashion editor prescribe to me what is “fashion appropriate” for my age. If I want to squeeze my sorry arse into something from “Forever 21″ too bad for you. Watch and learn.

In my dance group I love having everyone fantasize and choose what they are going to wear. I don’t care if you are 20 or 70 – wear what speaks to you, wear what makes you feel good, wear what addresses your desire for yourself. Work on seeing the positives in yourself, everyone around can judge or not judge, so you might just as well make yourself happy. It seems to me, you have a choice, you can see the glass half empty or full – your choice.

I love, while our group is rehearsing their dance number, my husband always encourages everyone to love their reflection in the mirror. That is a really hard exercise – but a good one for everyone to try. When you see yourself in a mirror – resist the urge to tell yourself “Jesus Christ I need a face lift!’…..see yourself for the charming, good things that exist within you.

Anyway – I think to myself this is NOT a frivolous subject. I have two precious beautiful little daughters – and I cannot bear the thought of them walking though life like a supermarket item with an expiry date stamped on their heads. By being kind to ourselves, and kind to other women, by widening our vision of what is allowed to be beautiful….we can expand the possibilities for ourselves and future generations.