Anyone who knows me knows I am probably the pastiest human being in the world. Holed up in NYC you can kind of get away with it – you know all the layers of black that we wear. But in Miami – that would never do.

So here I am in Miami and I decided to get sprayed. Lord Jesus I didn’t trust myself to actually get sprayed in Miami – I did it at Brazil Bronze in NYC before I left. So I arrived here a lovely golden shade. Last night I went to dinner – and it was so fun to wear an outrageous yellow off the shoulder outfit – custom made for me by beautiful Donna Giles in London – I mean if I wore that outfit normally in NY the police would probably drag me off the street – but here it seems quite normal.

I am determined to maintain my un-natural glow so I have brought tons of Brazil Bronze Glow Stretcher with me. Unfortunately I came up with a problem that I hadn’t thought through ahead of time. I decided to take a yoga class at The Standard – one of my friends had highly recommended a teacher Lauren. I get to the class. It is very different from my regular class at Virayoga in NY. This Miami class was frenetic. The people weren’t very devout or prayerful – it was more like a line for breakfast at MacDonalds. Everyone had their mats lined up willy-nilly and lots of people who were very limber just did crazy things that looked like they should be featured in the Cirque de Soleil. The class was super fast – I totally couldn’t keep up. I mean it was fun and Lauren was very nice – but I was sweating like a pig and kept having to repress the urge to giggle as I was ten poses behind everyone else.

Then we had to partner up with a neighbor. I somehow or other landed up with this nice chap – but he was sweating like a fire hydrant – I mean oceans were flooding off him. You know I am a super polite British girl so I would hate make another human being feel uncomfortable – so I pretended like he was completely dry. Problem was he was so sweaty and I was so slippery from being covered from lashings of Glow Stretcher that I couldn’t get a good grip of him – I would try to grap hold to leverage him into some pose or other – that the rather sadistic Lauren had devised – and he kept shooting into the air and off his mat.

Yikes – the second the class ended I ran and jumped into the ocean. I was rather afraid I might have contracted swine flue from too much interpersonal contact. However – on a more positive note – we did do lots of standing on our heads in the class and I dod feel like it miraculously made my eyesite better. Could that be possible? Maybe that is also a side benefit of Glow Stretcher that I never even new about.

Later on I was at the cabana in my hotel and I am pleased to say that my tan is still intact. Even after swimming in the ocean, swimming in the pool, being a sweaty betty and wrangling a slippery Yogi my Brazil Bronze is holding up well. Just in case you were interested. Ha – and some people say they don’t write a blo